What to Do When Your Husband Gets Laid Off

Yell “oh fuck.”


Call your mom.

Discuss voodoo priest options with mom (who lives in New Orleans and could actually visit one).

Joke about vandalizing the company. Fantasize about vandalizing the company. Don’t actually vandalize the company.

Go to the park and eat several donuts with your husband. Relish in the fact that your son is too young to know what’s happening and is as happy as can be.

Have a small panic attack.

Cry some more.

Throw a literal pity party with fellow friends who were also laid off. Feel thankful for those friendships.

Eat cookies.

Trust that you’re in God’s hands, as you always have been, but feel extra in His hands now. Also feel mad at God. Feel mad at everything.

Think about buying a lottery ticket, just in case.

Trust your husband when he says you’re going to get through this. Take a picture to show yourselves in a year that you did get through this.

Cry some more.


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